Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

In a Nutshell: Corny! Now, all of the movies are a little hokey (and I love them anyway), but this was awful, even painful to watch at some points. Only for the most diehard of Star Wars fans.

Quick Plot: Former queen, now Ambassador Padme Amidala is being threatened. The Counsel sends two Jedi to protect her, both old friends. Anakin chafes against the restrictions placed upon him by the fatherly Obi-Wan, while still carrying his boyhood torch for Padme. Obi-Wan spends his time trying to figure out who is ordering clones of a bounty hunter, and why.

In Detail: OMG, the acting was just so bad! It makes Adam West's Batman look like Oscar-winning performances! I so wanted this movie to be good, and it really did have some interesting points and story elements, but the execution left MUCH to be desired. As far as overall watch-ability goes, Episode I was better. (Believe me, I never thought I would say that, though Ep. I has grown on me each time I've seen it.) It does need to be seen on the big screen, so do see it if you have any interest. But don't pay full price, and don't go expecting much from it; you might come out less disappointed that way.

I thought the Vader aspects of Anakin were well done. John Williams is a truly brilliant man, and he aids in telling the story simply through his use of various musical themes from previous Star Wars films in some places. For instance, I got chills when it suddenly transitions from "Luke's theme" to "Darth Maul's theme." Very effective at foreshadowing, without saying a single word. I also thought Ewan McGregor did a great job as Obi-Wan. I predict that while watching the Episodes in order in the future, the transition from Ewan McGregor to Alec Guinness will be practically seamless. The innocent aspects of Anakin and the love story were handled poorly. Natalie Portman was so wooden! She didn't show hardly any spunk until the very end. I was beginning to wonder where Leia got it from. Most of the scenes between her and Hayden Christensen were terrible, more due to the writing than their acting, though that could have used a bit of help as well. "I've died a little each day since you came back into my life." Oh, pu-lease! And did we really need the girl in the flowing dress to run through the meadow? Come now, Mr. Lucas, there's hopeless romantic and then there's too much. I did way too much eye-rolling (much more than Spider-Man, which is sad). I thought the editing was way too choppy, especially for the first hour or so (it's right at 2.5 hours, with previews and everything). No one had a conversation longer than a couple of lines for a while. The overwhelming need to state the blatantly obvious was also annoying. Again, it caused too much eye rolling. And don't expect much of the two-saber dual. It wasn't long enough to be satisfying, IMHO.

So, as you can see, I was very disappointed in the movie, though I am certainly still pondering how all the pieces are going to fit together in the next movie. As much as I disliked it, it has kept me thinking for 3 days now, with no signs of stopping, so that tells you how much I liked the new story points. Some good info, but not a good film. He has a bunch of things to work out in Episode III to avoid some messy complications and inconsistencies with Episodes IV-VI, but I'm sure he can do it. I just hope it's a bit more watch-able than this one.

Will I Buy It? Yes, but only to complete the set.